Welcome to my web page about:
Spiritual Family Constellations
on the Path of Insight.
To live in peace
There is a popular phrase through which people express their personal longing for peace. It is when we wish the Dead – “Rest in peace”. I think it would be very appropriate to direct these compliments to the Living as well and on a daily basis wish ourselves and other people – “Live in peace”.
In his book “Peace begins in the soul”, Bert Hellinger shares his ideas about living in peace:
“Peace begins in your own soul. All that we have previously judged, regretted, and repressed in ourselves, can now take its rightful place next to all that we have approved of. It can be recognized, even loved, for its significance, its consequences, and its contributions to our growth. This demands of us that we leave the ideal of innocence behind us. Innocence neither challenges, nor supports, and prefers suffering to acting; it prefers to remain a child rather than grow up.”
In order to live in peace I need to first of all find the peace in my own soul. The way described above is very demanding and requires a lot of courage.
However, if I’m successful in this regard, I will stop demanding of others that they provide a peaceful environment for my own comfort, for this kind of desire is appropriate for a child, but not necessary for an adult. Rather, I can share my own peaceful soul with others.
Peaceful society and environment is not to be granted. It is to be built from the scratch, by adding peaceful souls one to another. The more individuals are peaceful in their souls, the more peaceful society will be. And it is not responsibility of any government to bring this about. It is not that ‘somebody should do something about it’. It is the responsibility of everyone of us to find the way to heal our own souls and then help others in doing so.
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Real-time connection
When I realize that the past is gone, never to return, and that I have little impact on the future, I start looking for the now. There is even a notion, quite popular nowadays, to live ‘here and now’. But can I actually do it in a full sense?
If I take into account that the now is on a constant move, how can I grasp it? My senses receive the impulses from the environment and send them to the brain where they are processed to produce a perception. The perception is a very peculiar part of human constitution. By the time it is formulated and presented to me, the world has already changed. It seems that by relying only on my physical senses and the brain, I’m constantly left behind, even if it is only a fraction of a second that separates me from the real ‘now’. In an ordinary state of consciousness, this difference passes practically unnoticed.
Do I mind? Is it important that I’m not able to connect to the world in a real time? Are there some people who have got or have developed any faculty/ies that their consciousness is in a real time connection with the physical world?
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Life and Death
There’s a natural tendency in human beings to strive for life and protect themselves against pain and death. These impulses are also present in animals. What is special then about humans? We can consciously choose to think and behave in a different way which is conducive to our spiritual development, namely to give up fear and panic, and to remain calm and reasonable.
Bert Hellinger describes a basic requirement for dealing with the matters of Life and Death during his workshop in Warsaw in 2003.
“When it comes to more difficult things, to matters of life and death, for instance, you cannot do this, unless you have undergone a certain inner growth. That means that you have learnt to agree to the world as it is, with no wish to change it. It’s the best possible world. If you want to change it, you put yourself above God or the Creator. You behave as if you would do better. Only children think that they can do better than their parents.
“The personal growth means that you consent to the world as it is. You consent to your parents as they are. You consent to yourself as you are, without any wish to be different in anyway. Then you get very calm. You don’t have to bother much and just love yourself as you are, and your parents as they are and you love other people as they are. And then when you help people, you consent to them as they are, without any wish to improve them.
“If you have that wish, you put yourself above them. Then you won’t succeed. But when you support them in their inner growth, the main support is that you help them that they love themselves as they are, that they love their parents as they are, and that they love the world as it is. Then they can give up certain dreams and reconcile with reality as it is. In this way we work in a very modest way, but the results are marvelous. Why? Because they are in agreement and in tune with reality as it is.”
This text may cause dislike or even repulsion when it is not understood as it is. For example, what about if my current situation is a painful one or not satisfying? Should I remain in this situation, seek no solution and give up my hope or dreams? Well, the most popular course of action is to reject the reality and strive for something better and let the past disappear or go to hell. This is the wide path. The notion is that any painful or unsatisfying situation is present in our life to teach us something. If we don’t learn the lessons, the hell could appear again. As the saying goes, the history repeats itself, even though some details may change from time to time. It is difficult to accept the pain as one’s teacher.
Bert Hellinger suggests a narrow path which is rarely trodden. First of all there’s a basic requirement to come down to earth and agree to the reality as it is, and even to face the music if it’s necessary. No escape and no rejection. Just calm and reasonable agreement.
But is that all? What about hope and change? Well, that is precisely the point, how to materialize hope in a real way and to make substantial changes. When you accept the reality and give up certain dreams – notice, only “certain” dreams – then you can make real steps to a happier life and fulfil real dreams and “the results are marvelous”.
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